And on a lighter note... and a recipe

I couldn't just let the day end on the note of my previous post. So, on the up side, I took all of the recipes I'd typed into the recipe program I'd purchased and put them in Word documents. First, I went into Word and created a Recipe file. Once in that, I created sub-folders for each section of recipes - like in a recipe book. There's Main Dishes, and Desserts, and Appetizers, etc. Then, in each of those sub-folders, I created more sub-folders for specifics. Like in Desserts, there's cakes, candies, cookies, brownies, cheesecake, etc. I started placing recipes I'd taken from the internet into these sub-sub-folders. (Is there another word for that?)

Anyway, I created another recipe file, but named it Leslie Anne's Favorite Recipes and put in the same sub-folders and sub-sub-folders. I decided it would be easier to find one of my old stand-bys if I kept them separated from the rest of the general population of recipes I have. I had once upon a time started typing them into a recipe program that I bought off the internet. But I didn't like how it worked. I'd already typed in a little over 100 recipes and have lots more to put in there. I can't believe that I have that many favorite recipes, but there you have it! Anyway, I copied & pasted them into separate Word documents and filed them appropriately, thank you very much.

So, here's one of my favorite recipes. Be sure to read the notes following the recipe - I like to take a recipe and make it my own. Variations are of my own making. This pie is a great one for summer time.

Jello Whip Pie

From: Aunt Audrey King

1 - 3 oz pkg lime jello

1 C hot water

1/4 C cold water

juice of 2 limes

zest of 1 lime

1/2 C sugar

1 - 13 oz can evaporated milk, chilled

2 - 3 oz pkgs cream cheese, room temp. (I just use one 8 oz pkg!)

pie crust(s) - see note

Stir hot water into jello till dissolved.Add cold water. Add lime juice, lime zest and sugar. Cool till set.

Whip the chilled evaporated milk. Whip the jello mix. Beat the cream cheese and add to the jello mixture.

Fold jello mixture into the evaporated milk and whip until stiff (should be fairly stiff.)

Put into graham cracker crust (recipe makes 2 ready-made 6 oz crusts).

Note: Top of recipe says it makes 2 - 8" pies or 1 - 9-1/2 to 10" pie.

PERSONAL NOTE #1: This recipe can very easily be made "healthier" by substituting the following:

1 pkg sugar-free lime jello instead of sugar sweetened jello

sugar substitute to replace the sugar

1 - 12 oz can skim evaporated milk

Use Neufchatel cheese (the 1/3 less fat cream cheese) instead of regular cream cheese

Make your own graham cracker crust. I found this recipe in a magazine for diabetics that Daddy must've received when he was diagnosed with diabetes (the magazine was put out by Southern Living, but is no longer in print.)

HOMEMADE GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST ( recipe taken from Collector's Edition Successful Living with Diabetes)

1-3/4 C graham cracker crumbs

1/4 C granulated sugar substitute

3 Tbsp reduced-calorie margarine, melted

cooking spray

Combine crumbs, sugar substitute and margarine substitute; stir well.Press mixture evenly in bottom and up sides of a 9" pie plate coated with cooking spray.

Bake @ 350°F for 8 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.

PERSONAL NOTE#2: You can come up with pretty much whatever flavor or combination of flavors that you want with this recipe.

Orange - orange jello, orange zest & orange juice

Lemon - lemon jello, zest & juice

Raspberry or cherry or strawberry - matching jello flavor, matching bottled fruit juice, and appropriate chopped berries. The same can be done I imagine with grape or blueberry or blackberry. Even cranberry with some juice & cranberry sauce with whole berries.

Basically any fruit flavor with a bit of the fruit in it should work. This is a light, refreshing dessert in the summer.

Tired

Well, I'm just tired. Of everything. According to some people, I can't do anything right. I'm a disgusting slob who doesn't mind living in a pigpen and who is too lazy to do any work around the house. And I'm a recluse who is happy with that. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! On all counts!!! Does anyone really think I enjoy living in rooms stuffed full of ...stuff? Obviously someone does. Or that I want it to stay that way? Or that I want to stay in the house, 24/7, 365 a year? Yeah, I've kept to myself a lot since Clint's death, and I was fighting depression even before that. So yes, I did isolate myself. But even then I'd get out of the house at least to go to church, to see the dr's and to the store occasionally. I can still do that - oh wait. No I can't. After my fun trip to Albuquerque, where NOBODY judged me or put me down or looked down their nose at me, I came home to a filthy car, flat tire and dead battery. I've been home just about a month now and the car hasn't been touched - still filthy, flat & dead. So I'm stuck at home unless I beg for a ride.

And the mess? I've finally come to the place where I feel like I can start to go through things. But I can't do that without some supplies. I'm not asking for big bucks to be spent on plastic tubs at this point. I'd be thrilled with cardboard boxes. But. I can't go get them myself, although I've asked. And asked. And asked. For someone to keep an eye out for boxes - at work, in dumpsters, at the liquor store or the convenience stores, even on the curb of a neighborhood home where someone's just moved in & unloaded some things. But no go. I was told that "no one has boxes anymore, they recycle them". Baloney. But again, I can't go do it myself - no ride.

So how do I sort & go through stuff if I don't have somewhere to pack things up or have boxes to hold the things I want to get rid of (garage sale or shelter or Salvation Army)? Yes, a larger part of the stuff is mine. After Daddy died and Mom moved into smaller quarters, I brought a lot of stuff back home here from Maryland. Add to that the things I'd already gotten from both sets of grandparents' homes. Then throw into the mix the fact that my son has returned home to live, twice now, each time taking over a spare bedroom that I'd made into a guest room with a closet full of stuff. But now the stuff is all in my computer room. So I barely have room to walk in anymore. Anyway, I need boxes. Lots of them. And I can't see spending money on boxes - not that I have any money to spend on boxes - I'm lucky to get money for groceries. And I have to beg every payday for that. Usually I get it. Sometimes I don't. Then I'm stuck with whatever I can forage from the fridge, freezer or pantry. So if there's barely any food, how come I'm not losing weight? Almost funny, right? I suppose I shouldn't sound so negative. Occasionally some groceries are brought in, and I get to eat whatever someone else chooses, rarely being asked what I would like.

I'm sorry. I used to not be so negative. I was a happy person, laughing, smiling, fun to be around, making other people laugh. Now I seem to have turned into the one person I didn't want to be like. It happened slowly. So slowly I didn't even recognize it. I don't want to be that person. But now that I've seen that it's there, how do I stop it? How do I get rid of it? My first thought is to just not let it happen. Embrace life. Live life to the fullest. Go for the gusto. Then I remember who I am. And where I am. And who I live with. And I remember that it's not that easy. Now when you're constantly being ragged on. Put down. Yelled at. Made fun of. And I think, "Why have I stayed here for so long?"

I guess I was thinking it was what God wanted. He abhors divorce. He loves the people, but hates the divorce. I tried to follow that. Or maybe I used it as an excuse. Because I'm lazy & don't want to go through the mess of a divorce. Or maybe I'm afraid to. Or maybe I'm afraid to be by myself afterwards. Nah. Don't think so on that one.

There are so many things I want to do, but I seem to have my hands tied behind my back in each instance. I feel so helpless sometimes, like I don't have control over anything in my life. I can't work, so I don't have any money. I have to depend on someone else for all my needs. I can't clean up, so I get called names. I can't leave the house without a big hassle. And even if I could do either one, it's not like I could just jump in both feet first and be done with it, 1 2 3. I still can't stay on task like I used to. But I can at least get a little done at a time as far as the cleaning up goes. Same with getting out. I was starting to get out and at least attend church functions before I left. And yes, even that was spotty. But it's more than I'd been doing. And a lot more than what I'm doing now.

A SWEET Giveaway from Tattered Threads and Willing Hands!!!

I just had to let you know that there's another giveaway on another wonderful quilting blog! Can you believe it? Julie from Tattered Threads and Willing Hands. Go to her blog and read her statement and her entry entitled "Me..." to learn more about her. I love the quote I read there - "I know Jesus, and I talk to God." It comes from one of her favorite country songs. I'll have to find out what song it's from if I can't successfully google it! She sounds like a winner to me, and I can't wait to read more of her blog and get to know her better.

In the meantime, run on over FAST to Tattered Threads & Willing Hands (click on the title of this post to get there) and see for yourself! Julie has a kit to give away in honor of Mother's Day! When you stop by her site, check out the May 10th post and you'll see the photos for this wonderful kit! You won't believe how adorable the one someone else made turned out - photo of that , too! Again, RUN! DON"T WALK to Julie's site to enter, because it ends at midnight tonight! I'm sorry, I didn't figure out soon enough how to link up to another blog! Eek!

Getting the Hang of THIS

Wow, I did it! Not the way I expected to, but I did it! I actually got a link to another blog to work in the title of my last post! Wahoo! I've seen where other people have links to another blog or site, but I didn't have a clue as to how to do it myself! I think I'm going to have to actually look up how to do this because I only fell into getting a link in the title of my last post by sheer luck! I really wanna get the hang of it, in plain & simple English! If anyone knows of a site with really easy instructions, please let me know!!!

You've Got to Check THIS Out!

There is a great giveaway on a blog I've discovered lately! You need to go to see what a lovely quilt is being given away by Elizabeth of Pigtails and Snails! You won't believe it until you see it! My favorites - ROSES - are involved here! I don't know for sure what I'm doing here, trying to add a button and a link (or whatever it's called!) So, suffice it to say that if all else fails, here is the link to her blog:

http://pigtailsandsnails.blogspot.com/

You'll want to look at the entry entitled "Pink-A-Boo I've got eyes for you!"

Of course, should you happen to enter AND win, I will expect you to pass your winnings on to me ;)!! Ok, I suppose I'd better add in there that I'm kidding, so no one takes me to court! I meant no harm!!!

Ok, back to the giveaway and Elizabeth. To discover more about her, browse through her blog. She's got almost 4 children (1 on the way!), is married (praise the Lord!), and enjoys sewing and quilting. She's got some beautiful photos of her projects. It's an all-around happy blog, so please head over to Pigtails and Snails to take a look, check out this fabulous giveaway and enter to win!

Avoid biting...

... when a simple growl will do.

Doesn't that just say it all? I received an email today from a delightful young man, Cameron, which included a lot of adorable photos of dogs, a story about a little boy whose dog had to be euthanized.

What happened next was so insightful:

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The Six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'

Out of the mouths of babes! It reminded me of Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent, whose physical appearance was rather nondescript; not one that many would pay much attention to. Then both Susan and the little 6-yr old here open their mouths and stun everyone around them! Let that be a lesson to you - don't judge solely on appearances. You can't really tell what's inside that plain brown wrapper, can you? Why is it that people just dismiss those who don't fit into their perfect little picture of what is and what isn't acceptable? They tune out the children, completely shutting out the wisdom they can share with us, if only they would listen! (Luke 18:17 "...whoever doesn't receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never get into it at all.") And they roll their eyes if someone who doesn't have the perfect body, make-up, hair & fashions dares to share their dreams with them. But they sure listen when Brad or Angelina have something to say. Or any of the spoiled young women we see nowadays, whose lives are shattered with drug arrests, mental/emotional problems, physical abuse, etc. It seems the whole world stops to read what's going on with actors & actresses, sports figures, etc., & see what they may have to say. I do it too.

Why do we do that? I do tend to get a "buzz" from the bee in my bonnet when they get up on their pedestal and start spouting their political views. Does that bother anyone else? Why is their opinion anymore valid than that of my next door neighbor? Or my hairdresser? Or the English teacher at high school? Or anybody else? These people make a living playing games or pretending to be someone else! Where do they get off? Aarghhh!

Whew, enough of that bee in my bonnet!!! This wasn't even why I started this particular post ! So... on with it!

After the story of the dog and the boy at the vet's office, there was a list of things the veterinarian had learned from dogs. The one that struck me was "Avoid biting when a simple growl will do." I love it! People (me) are so quick to jump to conclusions (usually the wrong one), and then they (me) rush to strike out or lash back at the supposed one who "injured" them (me). What's wrong with speaking up if you (I) feel someone has done you (me) an injustice - get them to clarify what they said. And then, if you (I) must, peacefully respond. You don't have to lower yourself to their level. Honestly, I do try to do this. But every once in a while I slip. I'm not perfect. And it's not always easy to see when it starts, it takes some experience to catch on; to see when something's been said or done that irks, irritates, bothers, hurts, angers (or whatever) you. Then you have to remember how you should respond, instead of just blasting someone.

Then I remembered a Bible verse I learned a long time ago,

Prov 15: 1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

No wonder this vet's life lesson grabbed my attention. It was one I learned long ago, as I mentioned before. But it was at a time when I was battling depression which hadn't been diagnosed yet. The way I responded to the pressures of the depression was by taking it out in anger on those around me. Being diagnosed & put on medication was a step, but by learning this verse and making it mine, putting it in my heart and not letting it go, made me a better person. One I like better because of it.

A Bee In My Bonnet?

How do you start a blog/blogging, when you're in the middle of nowhere? There's really been nothing set in stone yet, so no one knows your style, your thoughts, your ideas, your hurts, your hopes - nothing!

I guess first I'll explain the title by using various definitions found on the internet. To have "a bee in your bonnet" means to be preoccupied or obsessed with an idea. Putting a "bee in your bonnet" is putting an idea in your head. An idea buzzes around your brain the way a bee buzzes around, and your bonnet (hat) is a metaphor for your head. A strange idea or notion; also, an idea that is harped on, an obsession. This term, which replaced the earlier have bees in one's head, transfers the buzzing of a bee inside one's hat to a weird idea in one's head. If someone is very excited about something, they have a bee in their bonnet.

In my own words then, a bee in my bonnet would be an idea buzzing around in my head; an idea which, like an unwelcome song, stays there making itself known, not going away - to the point of almost driving you crazy.

And if there's one thing I know, it's being driven crazy. Literally as well as figuratively. If I get an idea in my head, I've got to check it out 6 ways from China, inside out, up & down, back & forth. Until I understand it to my satisfaction. It doesn't matter if you already "get it", I have to get it - in my own way and in my own time. That's the figurative of it all.

The literal of it is that after my 16 yr old son committed suicide in July 2001, I went off the deep end. I lost it. I suffered from major depression and went into a big ol' decline. While my mind has shaken off some of the cobwebs, I'm still not "there" yet.

I think in the grand scheme of things, I may not be "crazy" insofar as what the doctors in the white coats call crazy. I don't think I went that far. But in the context of me and my background, I was well on my way there.

So now you know about bees in the bonnet as well as a little something about me.