Monday, June 20, 2011

I'm Back at My Post (no pun intended)

I'm back! A series of events has transpired which prevented me from blogging after my last post. Some good, some bad. First, I finally went to the doctor. I think I've already pretty well established that I'm on anti-depressants for severe depression. I've been unable to fall asleep, then when I do, I can't stay asleep. I toss and turn and wake up and then can't fall back asleep again. So I wait until I am bone tired before going to bed. My sleep pattern had turned around to where I was going to bed at 4am - 6am and sleeping till noon or 2pm. I'm a day person, and it made it seem like my day was only 8 hours or so long.

I also couldn't think clearly. I couldn't hold onto a train of thought. Before I got to what I was trying to say, I'd already forgotten what I was going to say. That was frustrating to say the least. I also felt like I'd lost a chunk of my vocabulary. I could not find the word I was looking for, to save me! Sometimes I'd finally come up with it, usually 20 minutes or so later after the conversation had taken a turn or two. But I'd put it out there, just in case anyone cared. Other times I never did think of the word I was searching for!

Also, I was more depressed, so I figured I either needed to have my dosage upped or the prescription changed to something entirely different. I'd had that happen before - a certain medication would work for 4, 5, even 8 years, then all of a sudden, it just stopped working for me. I'd begin getting more depressed and twice I checked myself into a mental health facility for what I used to call a 'nervous breakdown'. Don't get me wrong - I'm not crazy. Although there have been others who would say otherwise (and I'm not being 'cute' here, they seriously thought I was nuts. I'd just tell them, well, I'm on medication for my problems - what are you doing for yours?) I was just at a loss for coping with what life had dealt me.

So as I said, I went to the doctor looking for several different prescriptions. I was surprised to find out that he only gave me one - Abilify! The pill you take along with your antidepressant and it enhances it. The pharmacy wouldn't have it till the next day, so I waited, and looked it up online. Quite a few people said that it worked really fast for them - just a couple of days. So of course, I hoped for that for myself. All of a sudden on the 6th day, it hit me. I'd already gotten on a regular sleeping schedule from taking the Abilify at night - it helped me to fall asleep and it helped me to either stay asleep or fall back to sleep quickly if I woke up. When I woke up that 6th day, I had energy and I was able to plan out my day effectively, so I got lots done as opposed to wandering around in circles and getting little to nothing done.

That 6th day was on Monday, and I was scheduled to fly to Albuquerque, NM on Friday to help out for 6 weeks after my aunt had foot surgery. Six days before I was scheduled to go home, I got a call from my brother saying my mother had been in an accident and it appeared that she'd also had a stroke. So I left shortly thereafter and have been with Mom for about 4 weeks. We've gotten rid of a lot of clutter, cleared some shelves, and cleaned out her freezer.

Now I'm going home in 2 days and I can't wait.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Back to Real Blogging!

So, I've been cleaning up my blog a little bit and suddenly find that I've got 22 followers - how did that happen? Seriously, I'm stunned. And quite a bit embarrassed, to say the least. I haven't actually BLOGGED in 11 months! Well, let me start to update you! I think the last thing I told you is that I was to be a grandma! Let me introduce you to my little ray of sunshine! His name is Cole Carson, the middle name being for my younger son, now deceased. His middle name was Carson also. I was so surprised when they told me, I kind of cried. (I say 'kind of' because with the anti-depressant I'm on, it makes it very difficult for me to actually cry in most circumstances.) So here he is:

(well, blogger's little 'add a photo' button is NOT working for me, so I just cut-n-pasted this. hope it works.)

Yup, this one is the light of my life. What a joy! His momma says he's such a good little boy! He got a high fever along with diarrhea, so mom & dad took him to the ER. He was eventually admitted, then sent to TX Children's Hospital (right there in Houston; we're located just outside of Houston) and kept for several days. They thought he might have meningitis, so they did a spinal tap. I just stayed home & prayed. Figured I'd be more help there. As it turned out, it wasn't meningitis; they don't know what it was, but he went home & was fine.

Oh, and he was born 5-6 weeks early. Originally due 10/10/10, his mommy went into labor around the end of August. They gave her some steroid(s) to help his lungs develop better, then waited 2 days before doing a C-section. I have to tell you, when I saw them wheeling his little incubator down the hall, I ran out there before they could make the turn towards the nursery, so I could grab a photo. Let me tell you, when I could see his little face, he was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I was literally shocked to notice that! I mean, everybody thinks their baby or grandbaby or niece or nephew - whatever - is beautiful. I know that. But I was totally unprepared for what I saw. I'd never seen such a beautiful baby. Both of my sons were C-section babies, but they were NOT this beautiful! Cole Carson, beautiful baby, was born on September 1st, 2010. A September baby, just like his grandma!