Monday, June 20, 2011

I'm Back at My Post (no pun intended)

I'm back! A series of events has transpired which prevented me from blogging after my last post. Some good, some bad. First, I finally went to the doctor. I think I've already pretty well established that I'm on anti-depressants for severe depression. I've been unable to fall asleep, then when I do, I can't stay asleep. I toss and turn and wake up and then can't fall back asleep again. So I wait until I am bone tired before going to bed. My sleep pattern had turned around to where I was going to bed at 4am - 6am and sleeping till noon or 2pm. I'm a day person, and it made it seem like my day was only 8 hours or so long.

I also couldn't think clearly. I couldn't hold onto a train of thought. Before I got to what I was trying to say, I'd already forgotten what I was going to say. That was frustrating to say the least. I also felt like I'd lost a chunk of my vocabulary. I could not find the word I was looking for, to save me! Sometimes I'd finally come up with it, usually 20 minutes or so later after the conversation had taken a turn or two. But I'd put it out there, just in case anyone cared. Other times I never did think of the word I was searching for!

Also, I was more depressed, so I figured I either needed to have my dosage upped or the prescription changed to something entirely different. I'd had that happen before - a certain medication would work for 4, 5, even 8 years, then all of a sudden, it just stopped working for me. I'd begin getting more depressed and twice I checked myself into a mental health facility for what I used to call a 'nervous breakdown'. Don't get me wrong - I'm not crazy. Although there have been others who would say otherwise (and I'm not being 'cute' here, they seriously thought I was nuts. I'd just tell them, well, I'm on medication for my problems - what are you doing for yours?) I was just at a loss for coping with what life had dealt me.

So as I said, I went to the doctor looking for several different prescriptions. I was surprised to find out that he only gave me one - Abilify! The pill you take along with your antidepressant and it enhances it. The pharmacy wouldn't have it till the next day, so I waited, and looked it up online. Quite a few people said that it worked really fast for them - just a couple of days. So of course, I hoped for that for myself. All of a sudden on the 6th day, it hit me. I'd already gotten on a regular sleeping schedule from taking the Abilify at night - it helped me to fall asleep and it helped me to either stay asleep or fall back to sleep quickly if I woke up. When I woke up that 6th day, I had energy and I was able to plan out my day effectively, so I got lots done as opposed to wandering around in circles and getting little to nothing done.

That 6th day was on Monday, and I was scheduled to fly to Albuquerque, NM on Friday to help out for 6 weeks after my aunt had foot surgery. Six days before I was scheduled to go home, I got a call from my brother saying my mother had been in an accident and it appeared that she'd also had a stroke. So I left shortly thereafter and have been with Mom for about 4 weeks. We've gotten rid of a lot of clutter, cleared some shelves, and cleaned out her freezer.

Now I'm going home in 2 days and I can't wait.

6 comments:

  1. Hi Leslie!

    Thanks for visiting my blog. Yes, I've had a good spring so far with my flowers and my tablecloth hunting! LOL! I think it's when I stop expecting something (like my flowers to bloom) I get a nice surprise.

    I'm glad you found something that works for you and you are starting to feel better. I'm sorry to hear about your mom and hope she is feeling better soon.

    Enjoy your well deserved rest!

    Holly

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  2. Hi Leslie, I wanted to thank you for dropping by my blog. Wow..I read your profile and what you have been through in your life and my heart so goes out to you!

    I pray the Lord will help you through all your struggles and am so glad you found a medication that's helping.

    I've been through some dark things in life..and at one time..it seemed my body sort of reacted to the stress of too many bad things in one dose. But I did get through it.

    Just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed your visit and your blog. :o)

    Blessings,
    Donna @ Comin' Home

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  3. Leslie Anne, I went through something similar about 10 years ago. I couldn't sleep, stopped flying, was falling asleep at the wheel and couldn't think. It appeared to be depression, but turned out to be Sleep Apnea. I was wondering if you have ever been tested for that? Once diagnosed, and treated, things returned to normal within days. FWIW

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  4. Thanks for the heads up, Ian! Unfortunately, my severe depression was brought on by the suicide of my 16 yr old son 10 years ago. My husband and son dealt with it by becoming angry. I dealt with it by becoming depressed. After 6 months I returned to work, but was let go after a year and a half. That destroyed what little self-esteem I had remaining and I was a basket case for the next 8 years. The worst of it finally abated after I went on the Abilify. I haven't had any of the side effects listed, thankfully.

    I hadn't really given any thought to sleep apnea. I did however 'snore' myself awake just last night! I guess I should ask my husband to check my breathing when I do that. I sleep well enough, but there's always room for improvement!

    Thanks for taking the time to read my blog! Leslie Anne

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  5. i am a fellow
    child of God
    and a new follower
    via Linky Followers

    i hope you will take
    a moment to come and visit me too!

    alison

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  6. So happy to hear you are feeling better! I have just found your blog and will be back to visit. Sending good thoughts and racers your way as you continue to help you're family.

    Chris

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